so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
