So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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