dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
