I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
