fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
