You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
