so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
