hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Randomize
