cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
is wine microwaveable?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
