I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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