I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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