I am in a vortex of obligation.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
She told me I should be a condom model.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Randomize
