awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
