I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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