reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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