At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I just found a bag of teeth...
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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