Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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