i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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