What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
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