that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I believe in your delicious
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
