so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
