Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
