I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
