just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize