At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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