Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
