and you said cock pushups were impossible
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
