In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I think I won the penis lottery.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
The power of my boobs compel you
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
