you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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