Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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