Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
worst night to have a conscience
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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