Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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