I'm laying in your front yard are you home
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
