Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
