Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
