I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
