The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
