i permit you to call me
high people should be assigned attendants
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
