She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
My balls are so social today.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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