Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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