You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
