I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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