Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
