They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
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