I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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