Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
It was confusing and full of hummus
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
