respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
