She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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