Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
