So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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