Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
