You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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