love makes seman taste better
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
