my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
