And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
it's like iHOP with fire
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
