Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
