I can tuck mytits in my pants
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize