i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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