Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Your dad touched me again.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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