please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
