Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
