So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
