I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize