I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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