so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
What did we do last night that was yellow?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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