oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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